


I Get to Love You

by imlimitedkery



Series: TharnTypeTechno [4]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M, Self-Doubt, Techno needs a hug, unbetad, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imlimitedkery/pseuds/imlimitedkery
Summary: Techno loves love.He's a romantic at heart. He sings along to love songs and cries at romance movies. Yet, Techno hasn't said the three words he thinks the most when his boyfriends are around: I love you.Why? Because Techno is afraid.ACan We Surrendersequel
Relationships: Tharn Thara Kirigun/Techno, Tharn Thara Kirigun/Type Thiwat Phawattakun, Tharn Thara Kirigun/Type Thiwat Phawattakun/Techno, Type Thiwat Phawattakun/Techno
Series: TharnTypeTechno [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1719490
Comments: 27
Kudos: 214





	I Get to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was supposed to be a fluffy fic about our three men saying I love you but somehow it turned into a bundle of angst and feelings and insecurities. Sorry for that. Unedited for now because I can’t read my own angst for a bit.
> 
> Title from Ruelle’s “[I Get to Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1mkYWkoXyo)”
> 
> Set between times three and four in _When You’re Gone._

Techno knows he’s insecure.

He isn’t dumb enough to deny that. One can’t grow like he did without developing some insecurities, specially related to love. No loves his parents and he know they love him, but their constant comings and goings – and his brother’s apparent apathy – didn’t help his need for love, and he’s needy. He knows he is.

There lie his insecurities. When there’s no one to love you when you need it, you may doubt every love you eventually receive. Techno worries and overthinks and doubts every attention and affection he gets, but he still wants them. He needs them like he needs air. It’s complicated, he knows, needing constant attention but doubting the veracity of every interaction.

His worries have affected his relationship from the beginning. He is consistently latching onto every little doubt and turning it on his head until it a massive ball that turns him into an emotional bomb waiting to explode, and he explodes. Sometimes calmly, others not so much.

It’s easier, though, when Type and Tharn are able to see right through him and spot the build-up before it gets bad. They nag him until he tells them and then, they calm him with words and sometimes more. They tell him he’s being silly and show him he has nothing to worry about. They put him at ease and make his doubts vanish, at least momentarily.

The problem is when they don’t see it, and Techno is left to light the match and throw gasoline in the fire of insecurities on his mind.

.

Everything’s perfect.

 _Too perfect_.

Nothing ever good happens when things are going well. Not for Techno anyway. Which is why everything has to go to wrong at one point or another, and it’s bad.

He’s happy, so fucking happy, the happiest he has ever been, or he is until he feels it, the spark at the back of his thoughts, slowly but surely growing, turning into a warm but hungry fire ready to eat him alive.

Techno has been dating Type and Tharn for a couple of months now. No one knows yet – well, except P’Jeed –, which is fine. More than fine. They’re still working things out, navigating this three-way relationship, to think about telling anyone, and they are doing well. They’re together all the time or texting when they are not. They are learning about each other the way one learns about lovers and not friends, which Techno loves. He loves learning about his boyfriends and the things they like and do.

It’s little things, though, that Techno notices that become wood for his fire. It’s hands lower on some bodies than others. It’s eyes that linger on some more than others. It’s public kisses on some cheeks and not others. It’s words said to some and not others.

The last one is the final straw. The last one is what makes Techno implode.

The worst part? Techno can’t blame anyone but himself.

.

It happens on a normal day.

Type and Techno have been joined at the canteen by Tharn for lunch. Champ was with them at first but left to do last minute edits on a project he has to hand in at the end of the day. This leaves the three of them alone and in their own little world. They’ve been making plans for the evening and Tharn is laughing, and Type is smirking, and Techno is beaming.

Until lunch is over and Tharn is standing up to go back to his faculty.

“Love you,” Tharn kisses Type’s cheek, and then pokes No’s forehead, “see you later.”

Something breaks inside Techno.

He watches with Type as Tharn walks away from them before he lets Type lead him towards their classes with an arm around his shoulders. He’s fighting the tears, he knows, can feel them build up behind his eyes but No is not going to cry. Not now and not here.

Right before they reach his classroom, Techno mumbles about needing the bathroom and makes a hasty escape from Type with a hurried “see you later”. Once there, he locks himself in a stall and lets himself slump against the wall. He shuts his eyes tightly and takes deep breath to stop the tears from falling.

He fails.

One drop slides down, and another one, and soon, he’s silently crying. He knows he is being stupid. There’s no reason to cry but he just can’t stop himself from feeling his heart clench. He loves them, so much, and it hurts to hear that they might not love him back. He knows they like him, can feel their want and desire for him whenever they are alone, and he thought he felt their love as well, but they don’t love him, do they?

Hearing Tharn tell Type he loves him, but not say it to him, broke his heart, and he hates it. He should be happy. They like him and want to date him. That should be enough for him. But it isn’t. Techno wants everything. He wants their liking and their loving and their needing and their wanting. It’s what they have from him.

He knows he’s never said it himself. He’s never looked them in their eyes and said, ‘I love you’, but they know. They must. They know he fell in love with them, that’s how they got together, so they have to know. So, Techno’s just been waiting for the right moment. The right moment to open his heart fully to them and tell them those three simple but so important words. He felt them from the moment they asked him to date them, but it was too soon. That’s what No kept telling himself. That it was too soon.

Except, maybe it isn’t that. Maybe it isn’t that it was too soon or that Techno is waiting for the right moment. Maybe it is that Techno is afraid that they won’t say it back. He’s afraid that they like him and that’s it. That what they feel for him will never match their love for each other. Techno is the third one in their relationship; the last one to join; the easy one to drop. He’s the odd-one out.

Lies. He’s been lying to himself, hasn’t he? He’s been lying when he thinks he looks in their eyes and sees love; when they touch him, and he feels loved. He’s been lying because he loves them and wants their love back. But, why? Why can’t they love him? Why can’t they love him the way he loves them?

So, Techno cries. He slides down the wall until he’s sitting on the dirty bathroom floor, hugging his knees to his chest. He’s been so stupid, so caught up in how happy he was to finally have someone (or two), that he ignored how deep he was falling. He was already in love with Type and Tharn, but somehow, he has fallen in deeper and harder and wholeheartedly more for them than he thought was possible, and now he is breaking because of it.

He wants to hit someone or himself. How could he let it get this far? How could he not see? How could he not tell that they didn’t love him? He should have seen the signs. They said it, when they asked him out, that they didn’t know if things would work out. That was the first sign, right? Why didn’t Techno use that and stop everything before it was too late?

Techno knows he can’t stay there all day, but he can’t go back to class. His body is starting to ache from the position he’s been holding, and his face must be red and botchy. So, he waits until no more tears fall from his eyes and straightens up. Listening to make sure no one else is there, he exits the stall and looks at himself in the mirror above the sink. He was right. His entire face is red, and his eyes are puffy as well. He washes himself with some cold water and smooths his clothes.

Walking out of the bathroom, No keeps his head down. He’s never been so glad to not share a lesson with Type. He goes past Type’s classroom, past his own, and keeps going until he’s outside and on the bus stop. He can’t think of anything but getting home, or at least his house. Because home? That’s wherever Type and Tharn are, and he can’t go there.

By the time Techno arrives and gets inside, his body feels heavy and drained of any energy, and he just wants to turn off his brain and disappear. Once he’s in his bedroom, he locks the door and faceplants on his bed. Slowly, tears track down his cheeks again and No finally allows himself to sob. No one can hear him now; he doesn’t have to hold back. It’s loud and painful. His heart aches and he can’t breathe, but he doesn’t move, just fists his sheets tight enough to rip and lets that be the only grounding he has.

_Is this what heartbreak feels like?_

________________

Tharn’s running.

He’s supposed to pick his babies up but got held behind by his teacher so he’s running. _Hopefully_ , he thinks, _they won’t be too mad._ He gets in his car and quickly starts it. The drive is short, and he is promptly parking outside the Sports Science Building. Tharn sees Type almost instantly. Not that that is a surprise. He could find him in any crowd.

Getting out of the car, Tharn walks towards the entrance stairs where Type is sitting. Tharn’s smile falls slightly as he notices the absence of his other baby, and Type’s frown.

“Hi baby, sorry I’m late. Where’s No?” Tharn looks around but doesn’t find his small boyfriend.

“I don’t know,” Type mutters, glaring at his phone.

“What do you mean? Wasn’t he finishing at the same time as you?” Tharn frowns. _I could swear he’s supposed to finish now as well._

“Yes, but he wasn’t in his class. My professor let us out early so I went to pick him up, but he wasn’t there. I asked one of his classmates and he said No never got in.”

“What? That’s not like No. Have you called him?” Tharn’s frown deepens as he pulls his own phone out.

“Yeah, several times. It goes straight to voicemail,” Type finally looks up and Tharn doesn’t like what he sees. Type’s worried.

All of a sudden, both their phones buzz. They each check them to see what it is. Tharn taps the notification that pops up and is taken to their chat with No.

💕2+1=3❤️

[16:37] **No (** **＾** **ω** **＾** ***):** hi sorry i had t leav earli wsn’t feelin gud

Tharn breathes a sigh of relief but continues to frown, “he seemed fine during lunch. Did he look sick after I left?”

“He was fine I think,” Type glances at him as he thinks, “I mean, he did rush to the bathroom when I walked him to his classroom. Maybe something didn’t sit well with him?”

Tharn relaxes a bit at that. He’s still worried but at least is nothing too serious like he was imagining before. He types a reply at the same time as Type.

[16:38] **Tharn** : oh no bbi u ok? do u need us t brin u anythn?

[16:38] **Type** ⚽️: why didnt u say anythn? Nxt time txt before we worri

“Type,” Tharn admonishes as he reads his message, “is that necessary?”

“Yes,” Type grumbles, “I worried for nothing when he could have just text us as soon as he felt sick.”

Tharn chuckles, “that’s true but if he is sick, he probably feels bad enough without you having a go at him. Also,” Tharn sits down next to Type on the steps and bumps their shoulders together, “I know someone else that doesn’t say anything when they’re not feeling well.”

“Whatever,” Type mumbles.

Another ping noise has them looking back at their phones.

[16:40] **No (** **＾** **ω** **＾** ***):** no, s ok dnt want u catchin it ill b fine

[16:41] **Tharn** : ok babi let us knw if we can help n kep us updatd

“Well, there’s that,” Tharn’s lips curve in a small smile.

Type hums, slumping against Tharn as his arm comes to curl around his shoulders. Tharn smiles a bit bigger. He’s still worried about his baby No but he trusts him to tell them if he needs their help. Peeking at Type, he knows he’s still worried too, even if he acts grumpy. It’s not for the first time that he thinks, _best idea ever adding No to our couple._ Another idea crosses him mind.

“Hey Type?” Tharn shakes Type slightly.

“What?” Type meets his eyes.

“What do you think about taking a trip the three of us? It doesn’t have to be a week-long, just a weekend somewhere. You, me and No,” Tharn smiles softly and Type grins back at him.

“That sounds good. We all deserve a break.”

“Great. I can’t wait to have my two loves all to myself,” Tharn’s arm squeeze Type.

“Asshole. You have us all the time,” Type grumbles, trying to pry the arm away.

“Yes, but I’ve never had you somewhere that wasn’t our home.”

“Whatever. Let’s go home. I’ve got stuff to do,” Type stands up, taking Tharn with him.

Tharn grins, still holding onto Type, and leads him to their car. Honestly, Tharn can’t wait. He might just start planning now. He can already see it. Himself and Type and No in some white sandy beach, with a bungalow all to themselves, maybe even a hot tub. It’ll be their first trip together and he wants it to be perfect. His babies deserve nothing less than perfect.

They are the men he loves the most after all.

________________

The air is heavy in his bedroom.

Techno has barely moved since he got home the day before, only for bathroom breaks and changing from his uniform to sleepwear that consist of a t-shirt that may or may not belong to Tharn and sweatpants that may or may not belong to Type. He had stopped crying at some point before he texted Tharn and Type but started again when he got their replies.

That’s how it had gone for the rest of the day, from silently crying to sobbing loudly until he had had no more tear left to cry and his eyes hurt, red and raw. He hadn’t eaten anything either even when his stomach growled at him. Techno just hadn’t had the strength to do it. He had fallen asleep at some point in the early hours of the morning, having exhausted himself with his unstopping thoughts and tears.

When he finally wakes up, there are messages waiting for him. He doesn’t look at them, just stays in his bed, looking up at the ceiling and letting his brain fall back on the stream of doubts suffocating him. He faintly hears Nic moving around the house, probably getting ready for school, and Techno thinks for a second that he should try to sleep some more, _couldn’t have been more than a few hours_ , but he can’t. Not when he still doesn’t know what to do with the things he has discovered.

_I should let them go, shouldn’t? What’s the point anyway? They’re going to leave sooner or later. They’re going to say how sorry they are, but they can’t make it work. It was bound to happen. We tried, they’ll say, but we just can’t love you the way you love us. Why am I crying? Get a grip No! You’re not enough. You’re never going to be enough. For them or anyone. I should just do it. It’ll be easier this way. I can’t force them to love me. They don’t love me and never will. No matter how much I love them. God, I love them so much. Why can’t they love me?_

Sobs leave Techno’s mouth, slowly and then violently. He turns to his side to try and muffle them on his pillow, holding it tightly in his hands. His body shakes at the force of his crying and he barely hears the sound of the front door opening and closing over his own whimpers.

The hours pass, Techno doesn’t know how many, but he feels like they do. When he has stopped crying enough, Techno moves and after a quick stop in the bathroom, where he pointedly avoids looking at himself in the mirror, he goes down to the kitchen. _I need some water,_ he thinks. Grabbing a glass and filling it up, he drinks it in a rush, not realising how thirsty he is. After his third glass, Techno goes back upstairs and sinks on his bed once more.

He knows he can’t stay there forever, even if he really feels like it. He has responsibilities and people might worry if he disappears for longer than he already has. Techno will have to go back to school tomorrow, he knows but how is he meant to look them in the eyes?

_What do I do? Do I pretend like nothing is wrong and just wait until the inevitable happens or do I end it now and spear myself a worst heartbreak later?_

It’s a difficult choice. Techno doesn’t want to let them go, no matter how much he’s thought about it, how much it hurts to stay, he just can’t let them go. But, can he stay with them pretending his heart isn’t breaking every time they love each other but not him? He can’t. Techno is an awful liar, and they seem to be able to see right through him so that would only end badly for everyone.

Eventually, he has to reach a decision, even if it’s breaking him apart. It will hurt, it already does, but it might hurt less now than it will if he continues falling. He loves them but, this time, he needs to love himself more.

________________

The campus is quiet.

Type is sitting outside studying and waiting for Tharn. He has practice later, but they agreed to see each other before Type has to go to the field. Neither had classes in the afternoon so they decided to spend some time just relaxing and enjoying the sunny day. Tharn was supposed to be there already but he had a last minute band meeting come up, not that Type cares. He’s perfectly fine sitting on his own. It’s nice having time to himself. He barely gets any anymore.

Who is Type kidding? He’s bored. He’s been reading the same paragraph for the past ten minutes in a bid to stop himself from doing something stupid like text Tharn and ask him why he’s not there yet. Tharn will think he misses him, and they can’t have that. Type smirks to himself, _not that I need to tell him, he already knows._

His smirk falls quickly and turns into a frown as he looks at his phone. They haven’t heard from No since his texts yesterday and Type is worried. It’s unlike No to not text them randomly when his away from them and being sick in bed is the perfect excuse to bombard them with his random silly texts. _Maybe we should stop by his house later._

“Type!” Tharn’s voice reaches him and Type shifts his attention to his boyfriend strolling towards him, “I’m sorry, we had more to discuss than I thought.”

“Really? And you couldn’t te–,” Type’s stopped mid complain by the beeping of his phone.

Looking down at it, he sees an incoming message from Techno and, he will deny it if anyone asks, rushes to read it. Type’s eyes widen and he swears his heart stops for a second when he does. It’s short but it makes him feel as if someone has dumped a bucket of ice cold water over him.

💕2+1=3❤️

[15:13] **No (** **＾** **ω** **＾** ***):** lets breakup.

“Type? What’s wrong?” Tharn sound worried but Type can’t even look at him. His eyes are glued to his screen.

A hand comes up and takes the device from his grip. He doesn’t see the moment Tharn reads the text, but he hears a sharp intake of breath and a body falls on the seat beside him. It takes Type several minutes to recover and he eyes Tharn in disbelief when he does. Tharn is not much better than him, he notices, his eyes are wide and glassy, and he seems to be breathing deeply. _He’s holding back tears._ Type knows how much Tharn hates those words and it’s a given he would react worse than he is. Type is in shock, in disbelief, but Tharn? Tharn’s breaking.

“Tharn…,” Type wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his neck.

“Why –,” Tharn chokes, “why is he saying that?”

“I don’t know,” Type mumbles, his voice muffled.

“What did we do? Did we do something wrong?” Tharn’s trembling and Type tightens his hold on him.

“I don’t know,” and that shakes Type off. _What the hell? Everything’s been fine. Why the fuck is he coming out with this now?_ “but we’re going to find out. Let’s go.”

The shock has passed and now, now Type is pissed off. Dropping his arms from around Tharn, he quickly packs his things and stands up, holding out a hand for Tharn to take. Tharn seems confused for a second until he meets Type’s eyes and he must see the anger and determination in them because he suddenly looks more composed and takes it firmly and squeezes. Walking hand in hand to their car, Type has only one thought in mind:

There is no way they are letting No breakup with them, not without a fight.

________________

A loud bang wakes Techno up.

It takes a minute to realise what’s happening; someone is banging on their front door.

Techno doesn’t want to move, whoever it is can come back later, when Nic gets home and can deal with them. He borrows on his side under the covers and ignores the banging that continues for a good couple of minutes before it stops. Techno sighs in relief when it finally does. He really doesn’t want to deal with anyone right now. He needs some more time to sort himself out. Dealing with people can wait until tomorrow when it’s unavoidable. Right now, he’s too busy nursing his broken heart and wallowing in self-pity.

He faintly hears the door open and close, _Nic must be home already._ He doesn’t know how long he’s been sleeping for and he doesn’t dare check his phone to find out. If he does, he’ll have to face their reply and he’s not ready yet for their obvious agreement. Techno hears two sets of steps go up the stairs, _Nic must have brough N’Kla with him._

It’s not until he hears his bedroom door open that Techno senses something is not right. He tenses under the covers. _That’s not Nic or Kengkla_. They wouldn’t go into his room without calling him out or even just knocking. Techno pulls the covers securely over his head, curls his body on itself, and shuts his eyes with force. He’s panicking. _They can’t be here. How are they here? Why?_ The door closes softly, and the two sets of steps get closer to his bed.

“No…,” Tharn’s whispering and Techno borrows even deeper under the covers if possible.

“Techno, we need to talk,” Type’s voice is firmer. _He’s mad._

Techno doesn’t speak. He can’t. If he opens his mouth; if he looks at them, he’ll break, and he can’t. Why don’t they spear him the pain and just let him go? He’s doing this for them too. One side of his bed dips, and he would shuffle towards the other side but that one dips too, leaving Techno curled in the middle of his bed.

“No, will you please just tell us what’s going on?” Tharn’s still whispering, so softly, that Techno’s going to start crying again any second.

“You can’t just drop that on us. If you want to breakup, you better explain yourself or it’s not happening.”

A hand falls on his shoulder, “baby please, whatever it is, we can work it out.”

Tears leave Techno’s eyes at Tharn’s pleading tone. _He sounds like he’s going to cry. Tharn shouldn’t cry. Oh my God, what have I done?_ His body starts to shake, and he is trying to muffle his wet whimpers, but they must tell, because the next thing he knows is that a body lies down on either side of him and arms are draped over him.

“Baby, please don’t cry, just tell us what’s wrong,” Tharn pleads in front of him.

“No, we can’t help if you don’t tell us what’s going on in that head of you,” Type softly says at his back.

“I’m sorry,” Techno wails, unable to hold it in anymore, not when they are here and speaking to him like that, “I – I love you –,“

“Then what –,” Type confusingly tries to interrupt.

“ – but you don’t love me,” No loudly cries, “and – and it hurts so I – I can’t stay, not whe – when I know – know you’re going to leave – leave me so – some – someday,” Techno sobs, unable to continue.

The arms around him loosen and Techno thinks, _that’s it, they’re leaving me._

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Type growls, “Techno, come out. Now.”

“Type, calm down,” Tharn pleads, “Techno, why would you say that? Where is that coming from? Why would you think we – we don’t – why?

Someone is pulling at the covers, Type probably by how angry he sounds, and Techno tries to hold on but whoever is stronger than him and soon air hits his damp face. Techno covers it with his hands, needing a barrier against their preying eyes. A hand is on his hair, another on his neck.

“No, for fuck’s sake, can you look at us? Can you just – shit – can you just tell us why do you think that? When have we acted as if we didn’t love you?” Type is pleading, and Type never pleads.

“But you don’t! You – you love each other but not me and I can’t stand it anymore. I can see it, I’m not blind, you don’t have to do this, please, just let me go…,” Techno sobs.

“No, baby, look at me,” Tharn whispers and hands pull at Techno’s, preying them away from his face, “open your eyes for me, please.”

Techno takes shaky breath which turns into another sob, but he finally opens his eyes. What he sees it’s not what he expected, though he isn’t sure what he was expecting. _If they don’t love me, why is Tharn looking at me like I’m breaking his heart?_ One of Techno’s hands unconsciously reaches for Tharn’s face, who’s eyes are glassy and seems to be in pain.

“Do I look like I could just let you go?” Tharn’s smile is sad and Techno hates it. He shakes his head and Tharn continues, “I don’t know what you mean about you ‘seeing’ that we don’t love you, but whatever it is, I can tell you, you’re wrong. I love you No. We love you, and it hurts you would think otherwise…”

To say Techno is shocked would be an understatement. He can’t believe the words leaving Tharn’s mouth, can’t take his eyes away from Tharn’s sad suffering ones. _He loves me? But, it can’t be. I saw… I… he didn’t say to me… they never say it to me, just to each other… right?_

“Techno,” Type murmurs and Techno is so confused that he can’t help but turn to look at him, “I don’t know what you saw but Tharn’s right. We love you. I love you,” and Type’s eyes are sad too and Techno wants to hug him.

“I thought – I don’t understand…”

“What did you think?” Type implores, his hand resting on Techno’s cheek and thumb trying to clear the tears still dropping from No’s eyes.

Techno feels Tharn’s head rest on his shoulder, his body getting close to his side, and his arm hug him as best as it can, “I thought you didn’t love me because you never say it to me, just to each other, and you never touch me the same as you do each other, and I love you so much but I never told you because I thought you wouldn’t say it back if I did, and I thought you’d eventually realise you couldn’t love me and you would leave so I thought I’d leave first and you would let me because you don’t love me and –,” Techno rambles unable to stop.

“Stop, Techno, stop,” Type begs and No does. He breathes deeply and waits, looking into Type’s pained stare, “how long have you been thinking like that? You know what, don’t answer. It doesn’t matter. Wherever those thoughts came from, they’re wrong. All of it.”

“But –”

“No buts,” Tharn mumbles from his shoulder, “let’s make quick work of those silly thoughts of yours so we can move on. First off, we say it all the time, or at least I do –,”

“Asshole, see if I say it again,” Type mutters under his breath, making a wet giggle leave No’s mouth.

“I said it just yesterday when I left you two,” Techno can hear the smirk in Tharn’s voice, “and if you thought I was just saying it to Type, you’re wrong. I was saying it to both of you. Second, we touch you all the time, just like we touch each other so I don’t get that, though if you mean in public then yes, we don’t touch you the same but, No, we thought you didn’t want to go public yet so of course we’re going to control ourselves.”

“I –”

“I’m not finished,” Tharn moves away from his shoulder to hover slightly over him, sadness no longer marking his gaze, just determination, “there is no world in which you’d have to be afraid to tell us anything, especially that you love us, or that we won’t say it back. See my first point for why. And I’m not even going to address the ridiculousness that is the fact that you thought we couldn’t love you and would leave you because no, just no. That’s not happening. Ever.”

“I’m sorry,” Techno whimpers and has to look away from Tharn’s intense eyes. _How can I have been so stupid?_

“No…,” Type mumbles.

“I’m so sorry,” Techno wails, “my brain is broken and I –,”

“Techno, no. Look at me,” Tharn takes No’s face, forcing him to meet his eyes again, “your brain is not broken. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“But I –,” the crying restarts, and a sob cuts his words. Techno closes his eyes shut, _oh my God what have I done? What did I almost do?_

“Baby, shush, it’s ok, everything’s going to be ok,” Tharn falls to his side again and pulls closer, cradling No’s head to his chest.

Type moves with them, draping his arm around Techno’s waist and resting his forehead on the side of No’s head, “it’s ok, don’t cry, it’s ok. We’ve got you.”

The sobbing slows down but one of Techno’s hands fists Tharn’s shirt over his heart and the other reaches back to take hold of Type’s over his stomach. Both continue to murmur sweet nothings and soothing words against Techno’s head, pleading for him to calm down.

“No, I’m not going to ask why you doubt us, just please believe that we can, and we do love you,” Tharn whispers.

“We love you No, just like we love each other. Can you believe us?” Type mumbles near his ear.

With tears still trailing down his cheeks, Techno nods, “Yes, I believe you,” he whispers. Why wouldn’t he not believe them? They’ve never lied to him. Techno feels so stupid, so many tears shed for nothing, for his stupid brain that sees things that are not there. How could he doubt their feelings for him? “I’m sorry, I just – I guess I need you to show me all the time, but I don’t want to look needy and I – I couldn’t understand why you would love me and – and I let it confuse me.“

“It’s ok. Actually, it’s not ok but we understand, and if we have to tell you every day until you get it through that thick skull, we will,” Type relaxes around him, and the hand that’s not around his waist laces their fingers together over his stomach.

“We love you Techno. You’re ours just as much as we are yours,” Tharn moves back so that he can look down at Techno and their eyes meet.

“Mine?” Techno murmurs in disbelief.

“Yes, yours,” Tharn smiles.

“You’re mine?” Techno feels hope raise on his chest, easing the pain of the past twenty-four hours.

“Yes,” Type chuckles.

“Mines,” Techno whispers, more to himself than them, before looking at Type and then Tharn. Finally, he’s not afraid anymore, and he needs to tell them something without it being an attempt to break up with them, “I love you both.”

“I love you,” Tharn beams at him and then turns to Type, “and you.”

“I love you too asshole,” Type smirks at Tharn but it softens as he looks at No, “and I love you No.”

Techno smiles, it’s small and tentative, but it’s the first smile since his breakdown the day before. He’s still crying, but now it’s from happiness. The hope and relief he’s feeling have brought warmth, and it’s filling him up slowly, easing the tension in his body and making him melt against Type and Tharn.

“Ahhhhh,” Tharn sighs snuggling Techno, “finally.”

Type chuckles but snuggles No as well, “all this emotional shit has me beat. Can we sleep some?”

Tharn hums and closes his eyes, a soft smile still on his lips, “please.”

“Ok,” Techno whispers, closing his eyes and letting his men hold him as tight and close as they want. He needs it. He needs them.

He knows it’s not over, his self-doubt. This is not the end of it. There will never be an end. It exists within him, waiting to find a way out through another passing thought, waiting to ignite and grow until he’s burning in its lies. There will be more doubts that No overthinks, more problems that he causes. But, for now, he’s ok. They’re ok.

Because he gets to love them, and they love him. Insecurities and all.

________________

“We’ll have to talk to him about it at some point,” Tharn whispers, trying to not wake Techno up.

“I know,” Type sighs, “damn, I knew he had confidence issues, but this is…”

“More than expected?” Tharn supplies.

“Yeah, for sure. I never thought he’d doubt our love for him for such dumb reasons or that he’d be blind to it,” Type cradles his fingers through Techno’s hair, watching him sigh and lean into the touch.

“We’ll make sure he has nothing to doubt and we’ll help him work on his self-confidence,” Tharn brushes No’s cheek with his thumb, feeling the trail of dry tears.

“I can’t believe he thought we couldn’t love him,” Type mumbles, “as if that was possible.”

Tharn chuckles, “I know, but we’ll make him see that. We’ll show him every day and he’ll never again have a chance to worry about it, and if he does, we’ll be there to stop it before it gets to this point again.”

“You bet we will,” Type mumbles.

Over Techno’s head, the two lock eyes and they can see the determination and the love in each other’s gaze. It’s a promise they are making. Whatever lies Techno’s insecure brain feeds him, they’re not going to let them win. For now on, they’ll keep a better eye on No, and the next time he doubts anything related to them, they’ll be there, ready to reassure him of their love.

Because Techno is theirs, and they’re never letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if the fic doesn’t flow well. It’s the problem when you write jumping up and down the story.
> 
> As always, please follor my tumblr [imlimitedkery](imlimitedkery.tumbrl.com) for writing updates or to chat about OT3


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